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More of the Same…
Well, the first quarter of 2010 is over. I’m feeling both good and bad about it. Good because as far as work is concerned I’m doing pretty good. I’m meeting my resolutions for the year. There’s still a part of me that says “You’re not doing enough. You need to do more,” but I’ve been relatively successful at stifling it. I do hope though to pick up the pace for the second quarter. The end of March/early April are starting to feel a bit like 2009 and I don’t want to get bogged down.
On the writing front, things have ground to a complete halt. I’m not sure why, but I am JUST.NOT.MOTIVATED. to do anything. A novel, a screenplay, a short story, a poem…heck even just a few lines jotted down. On this front, it feels very like 2009 which was a terrible year on the creative front. I try to track not only when i write, but also when the ideas first come to me and according to my journals it would seem that most of my work came from late 2007, early 2008. So right now I’m struggling with trying to find out the “why” and work myself back into things. It was one of my resolutions for 2010 and I’m loathe to let it go. I guess this falls under the put-up-or-shut-up mentality.
I’ve got a few other gripes and pat-on-the-back items but for right now, I’m just keeping an eye on these two things – work and writing and hoping to keep moving forward. I don’t want 2010 to be more of the same…
PS Of course adding in the fact we’re planning for a November wedding, 2010 does have its distinct differences.
2 Comments
One of the things that really worked for me was reading the book Drive by Daniel Pink. He talks a lot about what really motivates people in creative pursuits. It basically showed me that the things I’d been trying to do to motivate myself were actually getting in the way, rather than helping. Reward if I write 500 words? Not going to work. Forcing myself to write at a certain time? Not a good idea.
His point was basically that studies have proved that old theories on motivation do not work for creative pursuits. He spends a lot of time talking about business structures, since the business world has come to require a lot more creativity. However, I could easily see where I was shooting myself in the foot writing-wise.
One of the things that it really helped me see was how achievement-focused I am. I want that achievement to validate myself. But because I need achievement, I don’t want to do hard things, because there’s a good chance I’ll fail more than once. But what the more successful types focus on is mastery of a skill. (That in the end is what leads to the cool achievements anyway, but don’t tell Mr. Pink I said that.)
In writing terms, this means that I have, to a large extent, started actually thinking about my writing career, rather than “this story” or “that story.” I will tell the story the best I can at the time. If it’s not as good as can be, that’s okay, because it doesn’t mean I’m a failure on any level, just that I haven’t mastered my craft yet. Which is not a big surprise, considering I’m really just starting out at things.
Since I do want a writing career, and since to keep myself motivated, this attitude is key, I’ve been working hard on it. I find I do less comparing of my life and circumstances to others and just focus on what I can do at the time in order to push things along. That, more than anything else, has contributed to my recent bout of productivity.
So, anyway, long comment, possibly not helpful, but I’m trying to master commenting on blog posts. 
Thanks Lisa. I may just have to check it out. Nothing else I’ve been trying has worked. I just need to find a way to mentall think about my writing the same way I think about my job. Its one of those things that has always been something of mine that has had a lot of forward momentum…work.