You Can’t Do Everything…

The following cartoon on Incidental Comics has been making its way around Tumblr.  From the uncomparable Grant Snider, it really struck a chord in me.  It’s called “Disclaimer” but in my own head I couldn’t help but retitle it. You can’t do everything…or can you? I wanted to respond, I wanted to say things and fight against some of what feels like cynicism. Some would argue that it is real-world pragmatism, but my internal compass rails against that thought.

Disclaimer from Grant Snider

Disclaimer from Grant Snider

This amazing webcomic really made me think about my life and my own philosophy. My wife teases me every so often by repeating something I said to her more than 10 years ago – “The more things you do, the more hours in the day you find to do them.” Now that I’m older, I can recognize the hubris in that statement. No, there aren’t always enough hours to finish that project, or the make it to the gym, or any number of other activities. But the phrase HAS worked well for me. And I do believe there is a lot of truth in it. Snider ends the comic with the caption: “You CAN be anything you want to be…but can you be EVERYTHING you want to be?” I would posit – yes. And even if you can’t quite make everything, in the attempt you will gain so much.

I have a fulfilling job, a wonderful wife, great friends, and a fantastic home. In addition, I work on outside policy blogging, I fence and workout at my gym regularly, I play guitar, I Curiosity Hot Wheelsvolunteer, I write fantasy and science fiction…If there is anything that remains from my “everything I wanted to do” it would be “being an astronaut” (not too different from the character in the comic). But I read about space and science; I watched Curiosity’s amazing release and landing (I even got the Hot Wheels toy to commemorate the event – Thank you wonderful wife!), I follow the rover on Twitter, and support conventions that encourage young women into non-traditional fields such as space, and even put a few dollars towards a space-based documentary on Kickstarter. My life is enriched by my love of space and science even though I never did make it to the moon. :)

I still do believe in doing everything. Snider says, “One of the most difficult questions to answer is “What do you want to be when you grow up?”" and he’s right. It is. But what hurts my heart is that somewhere along the way, we tell young people that you have to give up on some of the things you love; some of the very things that make you…well, you. Machiavelli said, “Make no small plans, for they have no power to move the soul.” I would argue that we DO need to keep dreaming of doing everything; more than that, we need to keep striving for everything. These are our loves. They shape not only who and what we are, but who and what we can be. There are so many amazing and beautiful events, experiences, and so much knowledge out there in the world – lets keep chasing those loves.

For those with a screenreader:
Panel 1 – A boy in his room with things all around him. Books, musical instruments, a space shuttle toy, a camera, and paintings.
Caption: You can be anything you want to be!

Panel 2 – Boy swings from a trapeze.
Caption: With some natural ability.

Panel 3 – Boy enters a bounce castle with an astronaut.
Caption: In the right economy.

Panel 4 – Boy practicing his musical instrument.
Caption: After years of diligent study.

Panel 5 – Boy in a boat with camera. Under the boat in the water is a giant squid.
Caption: Given ideal opportunities.

Panel 6 – Boy is painting. Wife is watching angry. Baby is on floor.
Caption: By neglecting other responsibilities.

Panel 7 – Boy balancing on a highwire with a baby on his back, wearing an astronaut suit, carrying a music instrument, camera and paint brushes.
Caption: You CAN be anything you want to be…but can you be EVERYTHING you want to be?

 

And don’t forget to check out more of the fabulous Grant Snider at Incidental Comics!!!  Btw, his “This Year” is my new favorite.

Every Day – A Belated Post for the Beauty of a Woman Blogfest

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.” — Sam Levinson (quoted by Audrey Hepburn)

The Beauty of a Woman Blogfest was on February 22nd.  Fifty-one bloggers joined August McLaughlin in an event that focused on sharing words, thoughts, ideas, and inspirations about beauty.  Inspired by Sam Levinson’s poem, August shared the story of her experience with an eating disorder that almost ended her life, and then took that struggle and thought about how to use that experience to change things for the better.  In her own words:

“When I was enduring the darkest time of my life, the eating disorder…this poem struck me like a dart between the eyes, pinning me to a wall of “What if?” What if its words hold true—not just rationally or solely for other people, but in my heart, soul and beliefs? What if we’re all beautiful and the truest, deepest beauty has little to do with shape or size? What if the “something more” so many of us long for exists inside of us, waiting to be unlocked and cherished? What if I wasn’t afraid of being large, but living large? And in doing so, missing out on the most remarkable beauty of all?”

I had signed up to participate but unfortunately my own busy life interfered and I did not post on February 22nd.  However, I made a commitment and would like to honor that.  Not only because of my own promise but becaus of the premise – the critical idea at the heart of the blogfest – that women are beautiful in all their forms and features.  Perhaps fortunately, my tardiness only reinforced my own theme for my blog post.

Today is March 4 and today I say women are still beautiful.  We are beautiful.  All of us.  On March 4, 2013; on Feburary 22, 2013…the date doesn’t matter.  We’re beautiful every day.  Every. Single. Day.  Beautiful on dressed-up-in-formal-gowns evenings, beautiful in sharp-business-suit-mornings, beautiful in sweaty shorts and faded sweatshirts, and yes, even beautiful in  swimsuits.

There is already so much stacked against young women and girls. Everywhere we turn, magazines, books, television, art, even other people telling us what we should look like, what we should wear, how we should behave, and we can’t help but bow to he pressure.  And this doesn’t end in adolescence.  You can’t be a strong woman in the workplace and be beautiful.  You can’t be a beautiful “older” woman.  And you certainly can’t be a blind woman and be beautiful.  I hate that.

The beauty of a woman isn’t in looks, but in spirit.  The beauty of a woman doesn’t conform to some specific color or shape.  The beauty of a woman doesn’t age.  It may grow and mature, but it doesn’t age.  Nor does it die.  But it can be hidden.  Hidden by the lies we’re told, the rules we’re given, and the expectations imposed on us by others.  They’re like a shroud, urging us to be something we’re not, assuring us that this artifice is what will make us wealthy, successful, and happy.  And that is battle that we must face every day.  How do you ignore the world around you constantly demanding you be something other than what you are?  Skin color, hair color, height, weight, body shape, disability…all things that “disqualify” one from being beautiful. How do you shut down all those influences that say “You’re wrong.”?

I want more for my life.  I want more for the lives of my sisters and daughters; my friends and neighbors.  I want things to change.   To recognize beauty is to wake up, but those precious moments of clarity are difficult and hard won.  The beauty of a woman, every woman, is something not just for February 22nd but for every day and we need to try to remember that we ARE beautiful. Every. Single. Day.

  • Every day, we need to look in the mirror and declare ourselves beautiful.
  • Every day, we need to choose to ignore those little voices both internal and external that tell us we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough.
  • Every day, we need to build each other up and recognize that beauty is reflected in those around us.
  • Every day, we can work and grow and achieve and succeed and know that this is what makes us beautiful.
  • Every day, we can try and fail and get up again and our beauty will still be there.
  • And every day we need to take that piece of ourselves, that fragile, vulnerable part, and hold it up as the diamond it is, and let it shine in the sunlight.

 

Beauty of a Woman Blogfest 2013

 

Please check out August and the other blogger’s stories at the Beauty of a Woman Blogfest 2013.

 

National Disability Day of Mourning – Remembering Lives Taken

National Disability Day of Mourning

Today, the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, Not Dead Yet, and the National Council on Independent Living held the second annual National Disability Day of Mourning to remember people with disabilities who had lost their lives at the hands of their family members or caregivers.  The event was inspired in part by the story of George Hodgins, a 22-year-old autistic man from California.  He loved hiking, walking through shopping malls, and stopping at the Disney Store.  And in 2012, he was shot to death by the person who should have loved him the most – his own mother.

As a part of the event, they read out the names of individuals who had been killed and asked attendees and others to put forward names.  I wrote about this in more detail at Day in Washington and the Lead On Update, but I wanted to take a few minutes on my blog to consider Jennifer Lee Daugherty (November 8, 1979 – February 11, 2010). Jennifer was a woman with an intellectual disability who was murdered in Greensburg, Pennsylvania by six people she thought were her friends. They tortured and murdered her, and then wrapped her body in Christmas decorations and dumped it in the parking lot of Greensburg Salem Middle School.

Are you angry? You should be.

Outside Blogging and My Comic Book Character Favorite – Barbara Gordon

I’m ashamed to say I haven’t done much writing recently on my own blog but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. I’ve been fervently active at work, amazingly busy writing fiction stories, and even a couple of blog posts for other sites. It’s the last of those that I want to talk about today.

I admit it, I am a geek and love geeky things – Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic books, science fiction movies, fantasy novels, anime, and the list goes on. A fabulous Tumblr that I occassionally read (I tend to follow more on Twitter) is DC Women Kicking Ass.  In November, the site hosted the annual Kick Ass DC Woman tournament where site visitors voted for their favorite characters in head-to-head competition.  I am exceptionally proud that I was allowed the honor to write the entry for Barbara Gordon.

I urge you to take a look at the post in its entirety on the site, but I would like to repost part of it.

Barbara Gordon perhaps more than all the other women in the DC Universe has had the flexibility to change and grow with her audience.  She’s been in animation, comics, films, television but even through all these changes, the core of Barbara Gordon has always stayed the same. In Batgirl: Year One, Batman asks her the question, “Why?”  Why does she do this?

Barbara Gordon as Batgirl - Because I Can

People find themselves moved by one incarnation or another.  She’s beautiful, a fighter, smart, daring, without giving up that willingness to reach out to family and friends.  Barbara Gordon’s heart is her greatest asset.  Batman is separate from the world.  All he sees is the darkness that he has to fight against.  Barbara sees a better future for Gotham city; that’s what she’s fighting for.

Why is Barbara Gordon the most kickass of the women in the DC universe?  Heros want to save the world, they want to change things for the better.  Whether walking or in a wheelchair, whether librarian, or congresswoman, or vigilante, or just mentor, advisor and willing ear, Barbara Gordon uses her talents and skills to do just that. We all cheer and cry and wildly advocate for our chosen version of Barbara but at the end of the day, she isn’t Batgirl, she isn’t Oracle, she’s Barbara “f-ing” Gordon and nobody beats her.